White coat. Heels.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
