On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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