so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
