Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
