Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
