I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
