Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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