Do you still have your period?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
