Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
