i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
