i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
