I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We got so high we made milksteak
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
