i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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