I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's shark week go big or go home
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
