I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
