I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
