I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
