im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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