Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
