Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
