but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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