That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
