Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
