I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
