So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
