They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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