The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
