dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
