Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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