she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
