with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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