After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
