I love how my cats smell like pot.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
