This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
