i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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