My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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