I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
