I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
