Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
