new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I checked into jail on foursquare
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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