Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
