So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
