can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
