New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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