remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
