I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
