dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
