Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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