In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
