so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
