Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
