last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
